Downtime

Posted on 16 Dec 2025 @ 4:54pm by Crewman Apprentice Unknown 'Weirdo' & Commander Kristiana Petrova

2,214 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: Unity
Location: Hylcin restaurant, Sal'kiiran Station
Timeline: [TBD]

"Hey," Petrova's voice was a bit quieter than normal. Her standard confident posture was somewhat deflated, and she sounded just - tired. More than tired. It would take someone observant, who knew her well, to be able to tell, but she wasn't feeling her best. "Can I steal a moment of your time? I could use a friend, and - well, you're the only one I could think of."

There was no raised eyebrow at that comment, nor anything else which expressed surprise. Just a slight fading of the habitual smile on the face of the one addressed as he turned around, and a quick, piercing look from the sea-coloured eyes. It seemed to encompass her with a single glance.

"Of course." He gestured around. "Would you like to talk somewhere in private? Maybe get something to eat or drink while you're at it?"

"Mm. I could go for a bite to eat, yeah," Kris agreed. "I hear there's a Sal'kiiran themed eatery on the station that's already open for business. Might as well check it out while we're here," she added. "Sample a bit of the local cuisine, so to say." She didn't seem to think anything wrong with simply being in uniform for this.

"Oh, yes, that sounds excellent. Let's go!" Without a single hesitation he offers her his arm as they head to the airlock. "I haven't seen you around much these days," he adds as they entered the station.

It wasn't difficult to find the cafe - though getting there was low key a slight faff with all the contruction going on around the place, and even the eatery itself wasn't fully completely finished yet as evident by the half completed decor. The atmosphere was starting to come together, evoking almost a cave like setting with faux rocky panels, a water feature cascading down a section of one wall, various faintly glowing plants (that Petrova couldn't tell if they were real or fake) tatefully lining what panels were complete. Sturdy tables, a bar at one end, and the staff were all short, stocky Sal'kiirans of an almost androgynous nature. Apparently sexual dimorphism wasn't as obvious with these people with earthen- to stone colored skin.

"Hylcin," Kris offered in a low voice. "Subterranean subtype of Sal'kiiran," she added, as she looked around, taking in the atmosphere.

Her companion nodded, looking around with eager eyes, taking in the many details. "Yes. Amazing to find them here in space. I love what they are doing to this place, though, it gives such a warm, cozy feeling. A nice 'taste of home with a twist' style, love it." He noticed an empty table in what would become a seemingly natural alcove close to the water feature once the ceiling plates were fixed. "Shall we sit over there?"

"Hm? Yeah, sure. Sounds good," Kris answered as she snapped back to reality. Seems something was on her mind, for sure. She headed to the indicated table and took a seat, offering a tired smile at her companion, the one who came to mind when she needed a friend.

"So, what's eating you?" he asked, sliding into the seat on the other side of the table. He quickly browsed the menu, then focused his full attention on her again. And there was a lot of attention to give. Usually his mind was all over the place, doing three or more things at once. But now he was all here.

"Oh ... Just - ... " She paused a moment, trying to find the words. "Just your average, basic type 2 existential crisis. Is this - " she motioned around, more so in general than anything specific in this Sal'kiiran establishment still under construction. " - all there is, for me? Am I just - "

She was interrupted by a waiter, asking them if they made their choices yet. Her companion communicated his, before she just told the waiter to surprise her, that she was in the mood for a heart meal and happy to sample Hylcin culture and cuisine.

"Am I just - this? The job?" She continued as the waiter went on his way again. "This job? Starfleet doesn't care about me as a person - should I die tomorrow they'll replace me within a day or two at most. I have no friends - apart from you - nobody who sees me as more than just the uniform. Nobody at home waiting for me, no family left. I just grow old in this dead-end excuse of a career, spending and overworking my body just to get passed over for younger, hotter models. Then I just lie awake at night remember all the people I've lost. Colleagues - friends - I've watched die. I've sent to their deaths. And I just - "

"I'm just not sure I want this anymore. Any of this."

He listened attentively, that same sense of being all there remained. All the things she described were utterly alien to him, but that was hardly relevant. All it meant was he couldn't relate.

Once her voice trailed off he nodded. "That does sound like a lot. How can I help you best? I can just listen, or try to give advice, or try to help you find out what you would like to do instead…"

"I'm not sure what I need," Kristiana replied, after too long a moment of silence, eyes not quite meeting his. Her voice soft, almost defeated. "Do I need advice? Not sure what advice exists to help existential doubt. It's something people have been struggling with for thousands of years. Do I just need a shoulder to cry on? No. That wouldn't help. Do I just need some reassurance that I'm more than this - " she plucked at her uniform a bit. " - thing? Maybe. Just - ... What reassurance is there of that that isn't just words?" She looked at him now, darkness in her eyes. Darkness and doubt. "What reassurance is there that I will be mourned when I'm gone, that isn't just words?" Beat. "Eh - .... Never - ... Nevermind. It's unfair of me to lay these worries on you. I'm sorry."

"No." He shook his head, sea-coloured eyes still fixed on her. The grin, even the smile had vanished from his face awhile ago. "No, that's nonsense. You asked for a friend to listen to you, and I do. There's no unfairness involved. It's clearly bothering you. Don't ever feel sorry for that. As a friend, I would rather have you share your thoughts than walk around with them all by yourself, carrying them around and having them weigh you down."

The waiter arrived, bringing a sampling of dishes and drinks. Since both had, in different terms, told him to surprise them, this seemed the best option: a full Hylcin tasting experience. There was a plate for each of them, it was clear the dishes were meant to be shared.

"As to the last thing you said, whether you'll be mourned when you're gone… You just said earlier that you lie awake at night thinking about the people you've lost. What makes you think others won't lie awake mourning you, even if you were to pass at a ripe old age?"

Kris scowled, even as she poked at her food. He had a good point, and that annoyed her. "It's my job to remember my crew. To know their wants and needs - at least on the surface - to know their names, their mannerisms, to be able to tell when there's something bothering them and to make sure they have what they need. To take care of them. It's nobody's job to take care of me."

The sea-coloured eyes kept staring at her just a little too long to be comfortable. "Right. So… you only mourn those friends and collegues you have lost because you were personally responsible for their deaths? No beloved shipmate from your Academy days? No friend while you were Ensigns?"

"Not really. I spent all my time studying, training and the like," she sighed, poking at her food a moment before taking a bite. It was strange, spices she didn't recognize, layering flavors unfamiliar to her, but she liked it, she decided. "I was always the odd one out, that weird girl that nobody really got close to."

He nodded and took a sip of a pink drink, which tasted surprisingly spicy. It complemented the green jelly-like cubes he just ate (or, well, they seemed to melt in his mouth before he could chew) amazingly well. "Well, you have a captain above you, it'd be their duty to care, and mourn, if that becomes necessary. And I know I would mourn you, too." A brief, passing thought before he focused back on Kris. He had never contemplated his own mortality. He was too busy living to ever consider dying. "Anything in specific which brought these thoughts up?"

"Mm. The Captain's job is to take care of outside the ship. The Ex-Oh's job is to take care of inside the ship. Besides, this new captain barely knows me, we've hardly met or really spoke," Kris replied, her voice quieter, poking at her food some more. A sip of her own pink drink, she made a face at the taste but decided it wasn't bad, really. "Nah, nothing specific. Just - ... Getting older. Feeling I'm past my prime." Beat. "Feeling passed over a bit, not gonna lie."

He nods slowly. "Fair where this captain is concerned. But, past your prime? Maybe physically, depends on whom you compare it with. There might be a measurable difference between, say, reflexes you've had in your Academy days and now. Still, it can't be that bad or Medical would've commented on it. And decades of experience add up, don't underestimate that." He took a bite from another dish before looking back at Kris. "Would you like to have a command of your own, someday?"

"Medical has commented on it. Said I'm getting old. Said I push myself too hard and should slow down or do permanent damage," she replied, with a wry edge of amusement to her words and her expression. Another bite eaten - she could get used to this Hylcin food. "Perhaps, some day. It's - " she trailed off, contemplating for a moment. She had wanted her own command some time, yes. At least, that was what she had always believed ever since deciding to climb up the command track. But did she really? Or was she content just being XO? And was this doubt the reason she had been passed over? It was not an easy thought. Not a comfortable one.

"You ever feel like we're all just - figments of someone's imagination? Just - characters in a story, being pushed from trial and ordeal into ordeal and trial, for their entertainment and that of more of their kin?" she asked, changing the subject.

The grin made a reappearance. "Good grief, I'd hate to be the poor sod who has me living in their head." But he became serious after that. "Aren't we all characters in the stories we tell ourselves, over and over? We might not have agency over every aspect of our lives, but we do over a lot of things. Don't like the story of your life right now? Change it. Do something wild. Something out of your comfort zone."

"Hm," Kris considered, furrowing her brows. A playful expression crept across her features. "Something out of my comfort zone. I know! Macrame!"

"Sounds interesting!" said the man who usually did three things at once, and now looked and sounded as if he'd found a fourth. It was equally clear he had no idea what 'macrame' was.

"You should also have some shore leave left, right? Maybe we could take some time off. Go explore the different corners of this planet, or wait until I have my shuttle licence and visit other places. Huge universe, and it might be nice to just go somewhere, without a mission which has to be done, and all the stakes attached to it…"


"Mm. Were it that easy," Kris waved the idea way, though her expression sombered a bit, forming a sad half smile. "There's too much going on to take shore leave time now. The political situation, the integration of the crew onto the station, the ongoing construction of the station itself - there's not enough of me really to manage all that I need to, so I can't just take time off," Beat. "This is my time off. I'm spending it with you."

"Good. Great start." The wild curls bounced around his head as he nodded. "We should do that more often, then. Meanwhile, gives me time to get my shuttle licence. After this, well… Are there specific places you'd like to visit? Things you'd like to see one day before you retire?"

"I'unno," she shrugged, a thoughtful expression coming over Russian features. "Never really thought about it. Guess it's time I did, though. Tell you what - you get that shuttle certification and I'll think about interesting places to visit, when things settle down here. Sound like a plan?"

"Deal." The reply came instantly. "Now… have you tried this one yet? I think it'll be to your liking…"

 

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