SD 241910.20 || JL LtJg Sabine/LtJg Rahl || "Title"

Posted on 20 Oct 2019 @ 5:39pm by Lieutenant Quinle Rahl & Lieutenant Madalene Sabine

1,201 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Tyr's Hand
Location: Turbolift

=/= Begin Log =/=

....Madalene left the bridge the job was done. They had found lieutenant Malena's body. She had to get off the bridge when the discovery was made. Inside the lift she crumbled to the ground as it all hit her. {Goddamn it! She signed up for this. She knew the risks when she joined Starfleet.} Madalene thought as she silently cried and few seconds later she had regained emotional crontrol but her nose and eyes were red as the doors slid open and the counselor was standing in front of her.

Quinle had been heading to the bridge to check on Madelene and as the lift opened there the woman was, looking clearly distressed. “Lieutenant,” Quinle said evenly, “are you free to talk?” Her dark eyes appraising but gentle as she made the inquiry.

"No." Madalene said simply as she pushed past the counselor. Problem was she knew that she needed to see one. But she was stubborn. "....I'm fine...just sleep."

“I see, I think we really should talk before I have to make this report to the Captain. I want the ship to keep working at its peak operation and as such I feel we should spend some time talking, or I can request to the captain that we meet for a certain number of sessions before you go back on duty.” It was a gentle threat, but one that held in the air between them. “I would prefer to not have to do that for anyone, but that they work with me on their own accord.”

"That's bull-...." But Madalene stopped before she said something that would make sure she would not be on-duty for awhile. "...fine whatever you say."

Quinle nodded, the thin line of her lips showing a certain distaste for what she just did, then gesturing to a hallway, “My office then.” It was a statement, not a question and she turned on her heel and walked the short distance to the room, opening it and checking inside as she had received a couple visitors unannounced recently, the others letting them in to wait for her, but the room was empty and she made her way to the replicator. “Would you like something to drink? Tea? Water?”

"Nothing." Madalene said wanting to get this over with. So she just took a seat. "...." She was gonna say something but bit her tongue.

Setting th replicator to make her tea just as she liked it, Quinle waited for it to be done, then walked to take her seat looking to Madalene, taking a sip and looking at her over the mug as she took a sip. “How are you holding up?” The question was calm, almost gentle, the firmness of her tone earlier lost.

{What kind of question is that? I mean how would you assume someone would feel after going out into space to pickup their dead direct superior.} Madalene thought looking at the counselor. "....numb. Pissed. Annoyed." Madalene said just listing off feelings that one should be feeling and in all honesty she was feeling all three.

“Having her body returned must be a bit of relief, to know she will not be left out there.” Herdark eyes continued to observe Madalene carefully, her legs crossing, settling the mug onto her knee, both hands wrapped around it. “You have done tremendous work after her loss.”

Madalene looked at the counselor. "Some." Madalene said simply yes she was glad that they found her but was relief the right word for it. Madalene didn't know and she didn't have a better word so she decided to stick with it. "Thank you....I was just doing what I was trained to do."

“There are some that struggled with the situation but you worked through it, were instrumental in helping us get to the point of us preparing to return home and you were one of those. Training and leadership shows in you, I am sure your superior would have been proud.” Rahl spoke easily, Picking up the mug again to take a drink.

Madalene was so tired. And on top of that she had never learned or never liked getting compliments. Her problem was when she was getting them it meant there was no room for improvement. And she'll become complacent. "....enough please....<" Madalene said as she felt tears welling up not from the compliments but just from sheer exhaustion. "....no more compliments." Madalene said getting agitated as she felt the tears starting to flow freely.

A soft breath allowed Quinle to relax just a small bit more. "Everyone has worked so hard through this time, when is the last time you slept?" {When was the last time you slept?} The counselor's inner voice parroted, every word she gave to the other woman were ones that she could use herself.

{9 n no almost 12 hours.} Madalene thought, "...12 maybe a little less..."

"It is hard for any of us to focus or know how we feel when we are exhausted, both emotionally, and physically. There has been a lot of pressure on the crew to recover, and with all the losses it is an invisible weight on hearts and minds. Everyone knows someone that was lost, or killed." Stating the obvious was her specialty. "There are steps of grief and we all must experience them. Hiding our feelings away from co-workers is normal, but you need to have a place to be comfortable to stop pushing them down. Is there a place like that for you?"

Madalene just looked at her. "Bottom of a bottle," she said half-jokingly but more serious. "..." Madalene opened up her mouth but closed again realizing that the damage was done already.

A nod of the counselor's head in answer to the response, "As do many. Yet little is resolved in that except seeing the glass empty at the end. I will be starting groups to talk about the losses and you are welcome to join one, but I suggest you get some rest, then come back to my office and we can talk more. I will not report this to the captain if you wish, she knows we are all struggling."

"Thanks," Madalene said as she wiped her face. "...th thank you....," she said again but in a whisper and looking at the ground as she hurried out of her office and to her bunk.

Torn between forcing half the ship to take time to talk to her and letting them all mourn in their own ways the counselor felt overwhelmed with the need for her. Making Sabine come with her felt wrong to her, yet she knew it had been needed. Hopefully the woman would not avoid coming to see her from that action. Leaning back in her chair she spun to look back out in space, the window in her office both a blessing, and a reminder of the deep vastness that she wished to explore, but only in their own time. Closing her eyes she leaned her head back in the chair, not napping but trying to gather herself before she went back out among the crew.

=/= End Log =/=

LtJg Madalene Sabine, Operations, USS Odin/ LtJg Quinle Rahl, Counselor, USS Odin

 

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