Honest hate

Posted on 05 Nov 2020 @ 11:44pm by Commander Kristiana Petrova & Lieutenant Callisi Veera

1,699 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Ab Intra
Location: Lt Veera's quarters

The Daughter of Ts'usu was in her quarters, the lights turned low. Oddly enough, the brightest glow in the room was the soft blue glow of that horrid prosthetic in her head, occupying where one of her beautiful eyes had been so long ago. Her other eye, glorious and pure, was surrounded by matted fur, Damp, as though from tears shed in silence and in solitude. How close had she come to losing it, to losing everything? She had risked her life a dozen times over before, but why did this time seem more real than any of the others? Why did these events feel more real, more dangerous? Maybe because she'd have been forced to live with them? Live with the memory, the moment, the maiming.

Shoreleave, on an alien planet. That had a deep dislike for aliens? Well then, let them hate her. She felt ugly, she felt like hatred was the right emotion to feel to her. She'd welcome the notion of being hated for being a true Daughter of Ts'usu.

Most of a Daughter of Ts'usu...

Introspections and ponderings, ruminations, interrupted by the ring of Callisi's door chime.

Go Away. Those were the words Callisi wanted to say. That was how far, how low the events had nearly dragged her. To turn away a guest. No. No she'd never. No matter how much she didn't feel like company, she knew a cup of tea and a fellow soul would make her soul at ease. "Come in." she bid. The door would open to that eerie darkness, and the blue glow from her head turned away. "Lights, seventy percent." she solved the darkness issue, while returning her eyepatch to its place of prominence.

"Commander." she stood as she looked towards her guest. "Please, come in. I'll... I'll manage some tea."

Petrova stepped inside, taking a moment to get used to the darkness. Lights at 70 percent was a happy medium between Federation standard and what the Ts'usugi were most comfortable with, she knew as much from Callisi's profile. "Thank you," she offered, her voice small. "And, please, today it's Kristiana, or Kris. Am not wearing my rank today," she ventured, and indeed, no rank pips occupied her collar. "Though if you're more comfortable with Commander that's fine too."

"There's a quaint saying about authority despite appearances, but it would spoil the mood. Though, as you wish. Today, you're Kristiana. Thirty six hours." the rabbitess padded her way to the wall replicator to summon a pair of tea cups and some pre-prepared black tea. "I don't know how you take it, so I'll leave everything to the side for you."

Dutifully, as though she had done this a thousand times, she poured both cups, and offered the Commander the first cup. "You didn't come here for tea, I hope." or company. "How can I help you?"

"Thank you," Kris sat down, offering an empty smile that didn't extend to her eyes. "I came to talk with you. Not as your commanding officer, not like a counselor, but as equal, who feels she's wronged you, despite what counselors tell me. Perhaps I came to find answers for myself, or see if despite everything I can offer you some. I'd say that I came to see if you are alright, but I can see you're not. I'm just - " she trailed off, shoulders slumping a bit with a sigh.

"I'm used to sleepless nights. Last night was the first night I slept with both eyes open." Callisi started. a shaky hand brought her cup up for a small silent sip. "Now that I know what I know, I have to examine the entire chain of previous events with a new outlook. Was it incompetence, or possession? Was it malice, or mind control? My department superior, the primary medical officer, the list is almost as long as the crew compliment." she started, then held back.

"I'll have to re-discover everyone. I imagine we all will. A little soul searching, with the help of everyone else's soul." a pause, another shaky hand, another silent sip. "This ship is our home, but right now it's haunted. The planet below hates Vulcans. I imagine a Daughter of Ts'usu will drive them frothing, but to be honest, right now, I'd welcome something so negative, knowing it was genuine."

"I welcome being hated, as long as I'm hated for being who I am, by someone honestly and genuinely in control of their actions, who decides to hate me."

Kris listened as Callisi spoke, adding a bit of sugar to her tea and slowly stirring it. After the daughter of Ts'usu was done though she remained silent a moment longer, letting the words and the thoughts behind them percolate. How hard would a person have to be beaten down to welcome hatred simply because it was honest?

"I can't speak for the others - still trying to figure out who was possessed and who wasn't - but for my part, I was under mind control. I think I have a pretty decent handle on how they thought, what they wanted. If you think it would help you to know, to hear their side of the story?" She ventured, a slight Russian accent to her words.

"Sinister machinations, individual beings, unified goal, needed a ship. They wanted out. Either to spread their influence to the stars or to just conquer and ruin the lives of others. No, thank you. I learned all I needed to know while I was wide awake on an operating table." she seemed pretty set on that. "The only thing I'd want to know is what they call themselves, to add it to the list of my enemies."

"Scientists," Kris took a sip of her tea, closing her eyes a moment, at least until the bad visions came back. "That's what they called themselves. I never heard a race name," she mused, shaking her head a bit. "We left a beacon behind, warning people to stay away."

Somehow, not having a name to add to a list of enemies felt good. Like letting go of a hot coal. The damage was done, it was time to move on. Time to heal.

"Lucky me, I wasn't completely controlled. Just conditioned though pain. Do the 'right thing' and the pain lets up. Rebel, and the pain never ended." she took another sip, before putting her tea down half-finished, "Like an animal. And the medical officer's parasite... the things he said. Called me." a pause, "I swore he was going to pull my eye out right there. I hate this thing..." she looked up at Kris, "... but you'll understand that I don't relish the thought of having it ripped from my skull."

A breath, held, then released, "Alright. Enough. I need to get off this ship, and if it means stepping barepaw into a nest of hungry vipers I don't care."

"Want me to come with you?" Kris offered without a second thought. "I mean, if you think that will make things a bit easier for you? Be happy to, but it's understandable if you preferred to go alone, take the time to find some nature, think a bit."

"I'll take the company." the rabbitess offered. "I need to know who my friends are. Roaming around in an unfriendly environment won't help that. Also, nature is nice, but I ... I don't know what I want. I don't know how to relax right now. A stiff drink? A massage? A bar fight?" a pause, "Okay, not that last one. But, you can see my dilemma."

Kristiana smiled, a more honest smile. "Yes I do see," she admitted, finishing her tea. "How about this, You pick a destination from the Captain's primer, we both get ready, meet at the docking port in half an hour, take things from there. No ranks, no fleet, just two women sightseeing on an alien planet."

Callisi gave a nod, "Sounds good, I'll meet you there." a pause, "You know what, no massage. I.." she just shook her head, "No massages." and that was that. "Uniform or civilian attire? I know Vulcans were recommended to wear the uniform." she asked for clarity.

"You know, that's a good question. What do you think would be most comfortable for you?" Kris asked.

"The uniform represents everyone on the ship. We're together in this. A unit. But..." she paused, "I think recent events might have broken that unit a little. We need time to heal. Time to let the scars settle. I ... I think civilian attire would do."

"Civilian attire, sounds good. Meet you at the docking port in half an hour," Kris smiled, her mood lifted considerable. A darkness still hung over her but she was actually looking forward to this.

A half an hour later, Callisi stood at the docking port. While the phrase 'cleaned up nicely' usually applied when someone was dressing up, Callisi looked impressive when in civilian attire as well. A blank, black t-shirt, and slick black jeans to match. Modified only to allow her tail an escape, the attire was sharp but smart. Nothing fancy, no symbols or symbology, no names, no pictures. Over it all she wore a dark blue vest of sorts, which was probably where she was hiding her comm badge. Her eyepatch, ever present, was the same black material it always was. It was a part of her life, and so, it was a part of her lifestyle, of her attire.

Kristiana's look was similar enough not to look out of place next to Callisi. Heavy boots, form fitting dark jeans, a black t0shirt under a light summer coat of dark red. "Hey," she ventured, approaching the docking port. "Pick a place to visit yet?" she asked.

"No, but crowds are what I want." she started. "No dark spaces, no solo encounters. Let's start simple." Callisi answered. "We start at a bar, maybe work our way to a track and watch a race. I doubt Kinetica has been invented out here yet so, we may have to settle for the bar and the tracks." she smirked, "Sound like a plan?"

"Sounds like a plan," Kris agreed.

 

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