Change of Course

Posted on 06 May 2021 @ 1:43pm by Captain Mallory Thorne & Lieutenant Cole Dering M.D., M.S.

749 words; about a 4 minute read

Mission: Home

Just like the last time he made his way to the Captain's office, Cole didn't acknowledge anyone he passed or that had taken a moment of their time to acknowledge him.

He'd made a decision, one that hadn't been easy to make. He'd talk to Lexi about it, then his brother, who was not only someone he looked up to but a specialized psychiatrist. Though he hadn't taken his brother's advice to take more time in making a decision as he made it that morning, watching the growing activity in Sickbay through his office window.

He paused just before the readyroom door, and then pushed the chime button while looking down towards the floor.

"Enter!" Mal called from within, wondering who was at her door this time and just praying it wasn't more minions sent by the brass.

The door opened and Cole peered inside. "Is this a good time?" he asked. There was a part of him that was hoping that it wasn't.

She waved him in and gestured to the chairs. "Certainly, Doctor. Have a seat. What can I do for you?" She of course didn't know that she was dashing his secret hopes.

Having hesitantly entered at her wave, Cole sat in one of the offered chairs as if he was bracing himself. "I have...made a decision, Captain. One I've put some thought into." He paused before adding, "One that wasn't easy but I feel it's one I needed to make."

Mallory nodded slowly. "Alright, Doctor. What decision is that?" She could make a few guesses, but she preferred he tell her without her trying to guess.

"To step down as Chief Medical officer," he replied, quietly, while placing his hands together in his lap as he tried to relax. "I don't think I was ready to accept the position when I did." And undeserving of the responsibility, he thought to himself.

This role is cursed on this ship, Mal couldn't help but think. Outwardly, though, she kept her expression neutral but open. "I won't stop you if that's what you really want to do, of course," she said. "But I'd like to ask what makes you feel that way?"

Inwardly, Cole winced at the question and still wasn't certain of the answer. He only knew he just felt the way he did. Keeping his eyes on hers, he raised an eyebrow and appeared as if he was taking a moment to think about it. He was feeling done with that too. "Disillusionment." was his answer while Perhaps burn out was going through the back of his mind.

"I see," Mal said, keeping her tone neutral but with a slight nod. "Do you have an idea for what you'd like to do instead? Do you wish to remain on the Odin?" After all, now that they were home, there were a lot more options.

He had thought about that, and now what his dad would say, though talking to his dad was the last thing he wanted... "I'd like to remain," he replied and sincerely. "I have no problem with the Odin and besides, my wife is here." A long-distance marriage was something he would also dreaded doing. "We are in need of a medical research department lead. I'm more than qualified for that."

The captain smiled sympathetically. "I think that can be arranged, then," she said. "It's easier to do now that we're home again, too."

Cole nodded and then he realized something else he needed to do; inform Amelia. He gave her a small smile, "Thank you, Captain."

"Of course," Mal offered with a small inclination of her head. "Feel free to inform your staff and begin making preparations. I'll tell Starfleet and we'll see about a replacement. I've appreciated your service in the role, and I'm glad you won't be leaving us entirely. We've all been through too much together now." Mal smiled.

Getting out of his seat, Cole had forced another smile in return. "That's true." Despite her words, a part of him felt like he was letting her down. He let out a breath as he wondered something else. "Captain, would you like me to continue until my replacement arrives?"

Mal nodded once. "If it wouldn't be too much trouble?"

He stared at her realizing how he'd just set himself up. And gave her a wry smile, "I'll do my best."

"That's all I ask, Doctor," the captain said with an equally wry smile.

 

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