Rabblings & Nagging Feelings

Posted on 21 Jul 2020 @ 5:14pm by Ensign Cydwenn Sov & Lieutenant Callisi Veera

1,327 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: Ab Intra
Location: Bridge

=/= Begin Log =/=

Cydwenn was feeling lost, feeling as if everything she did was just not up to snuff, and feeling that everyone knew she wasn't up to snuff for being an officer. So, as she wandered around her lab while her terminal continued to spit out updated information on the planets electrical storm. It was still proving to be unpredictable in both where it was going and if it was getting worse or clearing up.

Sighing as she looked at the data. deciding that by going to the bridge she would be able to get the data faster, which was. somewhat true, as it would get to the. bridge first and then funnel down to terminals that requested it. Jumping on the lift, which did not take long to get to the bridge, stepping off. she automatically felt that the air on the bridge was different. There was tension, tension that could definitely be cut with a knife. "What a bizarre saying," Cydwenn muttered as she walked by the operations terminal, "how could you cut tension, hmm Humans such a bizarre species," she added as she made her way to the science terminal which was open for use.

A new face. Callisi turned her head slightly towards the newcomer, to at least acknowledge their presence. She had little to no active memory of this person, at least in what of her memory she had access to at the moment. Vague flashes, a calculation. Faces. Voices. Then she spoke and something seemed familiar, but distant. Like screaming up at a cloud or trying to catch a star.

A nod, for starters. Start small and welcome someone to the bridge. An odd gesture but it felt right. It didn't ease the tension behind her eye, nor did it do much to improve her mood at the moment, but her mood would have to wait until the end of her shift. Though, she did agree with the new face. "They certainly are." she said softly.

First, Cydwenn was awful at the whole greeting and even acknowledging others, "apologies," {I am so stupid,} she chastised herself in her mind, "apologies, ensign Cydwenn Sov, science officer," she said simply feeling that same feeling she felt in the meeting, everyone on the bridge just watching her and judging her for her minor faux pas.

{Yes, yes, yes you are,} that nagging voice was back.

"Sub-Lieut... Lieutenant Junior, Callisi Veera, Operations." introductions were important. "I did not intend to startle you." she apologized, tapping away at the ops panel for a moment to ensure that the variance set was maintained. As silly as it sounded, if she squinted with her eye, it hurt less to use.

Luckily the science terminal was close to the operations, so it didn't appear rude that Cydwenn just walked away, "operations you say, which means you are working on trying to keep communications open with the away team?"

"To a point, that is the attempt. As long as we can keep ahead of the storm." Callisi commented, turning her attention from the panel to the woman. She unsquinted her eye, which just welcomed the irritation back. "Mixed results at the moment. Are you part of the project?" she asked, honestly uncertain as to who was on what part of the project at this point.

"Yes, well kind of," Cydwenn said sounding a little unsure, "...umm, I've been more of a sounding board," Cydwenn said again feeling the nagging in the back of her mind, or was it nagging, it was more just reaffirming what she was feeling.

Callisi gave a nod, "I understand that feeling." to a point she did. She disliked having missed the planning phase of this operation. "Do you have someone on that planet?"

"Um, no, but I guess you can say that having members of the crew down there is like having someone down there, I guess," Cydwenn said but pretty much rambled it out.

{Smooth, have you ever spoken to someone else?} That reaffirming voice stated, reaffirming that thought that Cydwenn had.

There was a flash of irritation across her face, but she hid it expertly. Dealing with things like this was something that was beaten into her by society. "Well of course." she offered, "Back home, that's the usual sentiment. It's a welcome feeling." she turned her head to look back at the panel, using the turn of her head as a cover to squint her eye again. "Variance holding steady." she reported, before turning her attention halfway back to Cydwenn, the mild blue glow under the eyepatch moving to face her.

"Storm is, hmm....storm is, to be honest not sure what the storm is doing," Cydwenn said, feeling as if her eyes were playing tricks on her, or her mind having inability to interrupt the data.

"The storm is." Callisi recounted, a hand sliding up to her natural eye to just give it a rub, displeased with the feeling after as she was before. "Apologies, I'm still recovering." she said, dismissive of her displeasure. "I don't have much recollection of the time before medical brought me out of the coma, so I don't know if we were friends before then."

"I don't know, it is not doing typical storm stuff, the eye of the storm is, I think is changing," Cydwenn said, as she started not trusting her eyes or, what her mind is interpreting what her eyes were seeing.

"No. No it certainly isn't." Callisi half replied, half complained. "Then again, that seems to be going around." she actually just fully complained at this point. Half-answers, clarity after the fact on a greeting, conflicting orders within hours of each other, and this insufferable attitude. Not just from those around her, but her own. She was never this impatient, never this rude, and she was half-tempted to take a knife to her orbit if it was going to...

What the hell was happening?

"Apologies." she remembered her manners briefly enough to excuse herself.

Cydwenn heard the rabbit, but Cydwenn's brain didn't register it, so Cydwenn just went on with comprehending either fake data or real data that her brain was changing.

"Wait, did he apologize, do I need to apologize?" Cydwenn thought, "is everyone else waiting for one?" She continued to think or that's what she thought she was doing, but in reality she actually said her thoughts outlaid.

"Yes, she did." the rabbitess commented, "But you do not. It's part of our culture to ensure that in polite conversation, no one is at fault for any awkward moments or unpleasant topics."

{You don't believe that, do you?} The nagging voice said in the back of her mind, just making that itch even worse, "unh....," again Cydwenn not registering all stimuli happening in front of her. "I I do believe what he is saying," Cydwenn muttered, like she was responding to that nagging voice in the back of her mind.

Yes, what the hell is happening?

"You should." unaware that that was the worst answer possible in this circumstance. "I will try to keep you posted on the storm's progress. If I need anything specific from Sciences, such as more up to date variance calculations, can I contact you?"

Cydwenn just turned looked at him, like she wasn't there and she was just staring at the bulkhead behind her. But, then something snapped her out of whatever that incident was, "oh, yes yes yes, of course," she said sounding a bit too eager, but was this any different from her behavior she had been demonstrating.

"Excellent. Thank you." Callisi commented, with a soft smirk, before turning back to her panel. "We should talk more later, if you are free after your shift." she offered.

"Sure, um yes that sounds lovely," Cydwenn said with what she hoped looked like a smile, for some reason she couldn't remember the last time she smiled, or how it felt when she did smile.

=/= End Log =/=

 

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