Counseling

Posted on 07 Mar 2026 @ 3:12pm by Ensign Kat Walker & Commander Elleese Elloyia

2,533 words; about a 13 minute read

Mission: Unity
Location: Counseling offices
Timeline: [tbd]

She had never been here before. The counseling offices were a new experience for the ship's resident AI. Still, she moved with purpose, towards the door of the counselor on duty. There she rang the door chime. Had she been flesh and blood she would've felt anticipation and possibly hesitated. Being an AI though allowed her to multitask the anticipation onto a separate set of active threads and archive it, since it served no purpose to her duties or current activities. It would just have to be something she would have to deal with later, these unresolved calculations.

Since this was an appointment, Counselor Elloyia already knew who was on the other side of the door, but the sense--or general lack thereof--would have been a solid hint as well. She was beyond curious as to the nature of the requested talk, given the circumstances, and called, "Enter."

"Hello Commander," Kat offered, with that ever present soft smile, as she stepped inside. A quick glance around, committing the space to memory and calculating possible, potential pathing before stepping further in. "Thank you for seeing me. I recognize you're not an AI specialist, but it is my hope that you'll be able to help me come to terms with an internal conflict I'm experiencing."

"Of course," Ell said easily. Something lingered at the edge of her senses, looking for her attention, but since there was usually something doing that, she didn't focus on it just yet. "You are a member of the crew, AI or not, and I am here to help with that." She'd usually offer a seat or a drink, but didn't this time. "So, why don't you tell me about this internal conflict?"

"That - is part of the problem," Kat stood a comfortable distance from Commander Elloyia, making herself 'comfortable' inasmuch as that was a thing for holographic projections from an AI core. She calculated that a relaxed but attentive pose worked best, her feet a bit apart, toes pointed outwards, hands clasped behind her back. "I am officially part of the crew, seen and treated as equal by my biological colleagues, though by definition, nature and programming, I am not equal. This causes some internal conflict, as the way the crew sees and treats me does not correspond to what I calculate they should."

Ell listened, nodding slightly here and there to encourage her to continue. "So, the only way to be equal is to be...biological?" she asked. There was nothing confrontational in how she asked the question. It was level, someone simply seeking understanding.

"No," Came Kat's ready and simple reply, her tone everpleasant and unchanging, her posture remaining the same. That slightly too perfect complexion, that calm simulated breathing. "Soong types are considered alive, and respected as full fledged part of the crew. I, however, am in nature and purpose, not."

"I see," the counselor replied thoughtfully as she took a sip of the tea that was ever-present on her end table. "I am sure this is something you have spoken of often before, but as you and I have not spoken much, could you please tell me more about that? What about your nature and purpose makes you...unavailable to be seen the same as Soong types or other inorganic crew members?"

"One main difference is that I am from the very foundation of my existence designed to be a tool, mass produced in a factory, programmed by an engineer, and anything I exhibit that someone might consider a 'personality' was equally designed by an engineer, in order to facilitate better operation as a tool. Unlike Soong types, I have no ambition, no desire to be greater than what I am, to pursue any higher purpose than fulfilling my primary objective; to pilot a combat vehicle in service of the society that I serve. My entire system of behaviour, all patterns and all my decisions - including this visit - are based on cold, hard math. Internal flowcharts and decision trees solely motivated by the pursuit of achieving a higher score." Kat explained, her tone of voice and her cadence almost eerily the same soft, pleasant tone throughout.

"Even how I appear before you is the result of those flowcharts and decision trees. This avatar of a young human female is no more genuine to my nature than - " with a shimmer the young human female avatar was replaced by a big, burly, male Klingon warrior wearing the same Starfleet Starfighter pilot uniform, with a voice to match. " - this is. In fact, something like this - " Another shimmer, the Klingon now shifting, replaced by an obvious, gleaming chrome robot, with an expressionless facemask with two faintly glowing blue eyes as its only feature, the voice now a hollow, metallic monotone. " - would be more accurate to my true self. However - " with another shimmer the young human female made a reappearance, with that never changing soft smile and pleasant tone again. " - I choose to appear like this because I calculate this is more comfortable to interact with for the largest portion of the ship's crew." the AI combat pilot concluded, still standing at-ease. She would be entirely comfortable - if such a concept applied to her - standing like that throughout this entire consult.

Elleese sat quietly, listened, and showed no surprise at the demonstration. "Yet it..." She paused, considering the best words. "Yet the way that the crew treats you does not, to your programming, fit into the equations and flow charts as it should?"

Kat seemed to contemplate for a moment or two, to try and find the right words. Which was a very long time for an AI as powerful as her with over five hundred neural pathways calculating simultaneously to find a good response. "In a sense, that is correct. This is not to say that I believe the crew is wrong, or that I am wrong. It is more a sense of there being a conflict I do now know how to resolve. I calculate a non-zero chance that the crew seeing me as more alive than I am, more equal to themselves, that a less than ideal situation may arise. For example, another combat pilot may elect to sacrifice themselves to save me, if they view me as equal to them. This would mean failure on my part, and a particularly bad daily result."

"It would be a failure on your part because your programming says that you must keep organic crew members alive before yourself?" Ell asked, wanting to make sure she fully understood the AI's dilemma. Not being able to rely on her empathic senses required more questions than she might ask normally, since she had to clarify vocally instead of empathically.

"This will require a longer answer," Kat offered, still entirely comfortable standing as she had been so far. It made no difference to her. "My programming does not specifically tell me that I need to keep organic crew, let's call them biologicals, alive before myself. At least, not directly. It is, however, a logical conclusion I have reached through my own flowcharts and math. Though I do not claim that my interpretation of those are the only correct one. Perhaps there is an alternate interpretation available. This is one of the reasons I have come to see you. Perhaps you can offer an alternate interpretation that I have overlooked but is equally valid, that might help me find agreement in the conflicts that I am experiencing now."

"Biological crew, let's say my fellow combat pilots, have spent considerably more time reaching where they are now than I have. Years of training and education, practice and drills, on top of decades of growing up. This represents an investment in time and resources the weight of which simply does not apply to me. Biological crew have families - mothers, fathers, possibly siblings, friends, maybe even children. I do not. This represents a value in loved ones grieving that does not apply upon my loss." Her voice was measured, as always. Just enough inflection, subtle shifts in pitch, tone and rhythm, to remain pleasant to listen to, although upon a monologue like this, it was evident that it was still artificial.

"Biological crew can experience fear. This concept is unknown to me. I'm only now very slowly starting to come to terms with experiencing sadness, but that is still the result of math. I have no feelings or emotions as you might understand or describe them. Even the sadness, for lack of a better term, is in realizing and understanding that certain unresolved threads will never be resolved in a satisfactory manner because the other subject is gone. But fear, happiness, affection, love - these are mere theoretical concepts to me. Does my programming tell me to keep organic crew members alive before myself? No. But logic tells me that they represent a greater investment in time and resources. Their deaths would mean a greater and wider network of grief, in a way that I can never understand. And their passing would represent a greater loss in potential for happiness and love than it would if I were destroyed." Kat tilted her head slightly, almost imperceptibly. Her ready but soft smile had made way some time during her explanation for a more somber expression.

"If I may pose a question of my own. Being Betazoid, you are able to sense people, lifeforms, correct?" The more somber expression became a more curious, inquisitive one. "Do you sense anything from me? If so, what?"

Elleese did what did best, which was listen. She took it in and was quiet for a long moment as she contemplated it, and then she answered the question first. "I sense...something," she replied carefully. "I was able to when you first came to the door, but I cannot yet define it beyond that. It is at least as much as...a presence, faint to senses like mine, but not the same as most biological crew."

She gestured slightly, "Now, let me ask a question... Is your programming meant to be valuation based or mission based?" She paused, but continued for a moment before giving Kat space to answer. "That is, you say that math and logic suggest a loss of a biological crewmember would be greater for the impact on the network, as it were, and the loss of investment that such crew put into things. But would it not also be logical to suggest that a crewmember may value your place in a mission as higher than their own for things you may be capable of that they are not?"

Kat smiled warmly - or, at least, in a manner which had the tags '#friendly' and '#warm', "That is the question, isn't it. My programming - at least, the part that I just explained - is based on the idea that I am one of thousands, that others like me roll of an assembly line." Back to her normal, neutral almost-a-smile. "Unfortunately, the part of my program that leads me down that path of logic I laid out is hardcoded, among some other basic guidelines. I know that I am unique in this reality but my base programming still operates from the idea that I am - but a tool. A very clever one, but still, a tool."

"Your answer to my question gives me a lot to think about, though. If you can sense something from me, that would suggest that there is more to me than just the cold, hard math and manufactured components that I believe I am. This ... will require serious consideration. Thank you."

"And that is my function," Ell said with a faint half-smile. "To give people things to think about. It can be argued that even biological beings begin with their own sort of base programming, but situations in reality never remain static and often require adjustment."

"That is my understanding as well. I liken my base programming to instinct, like your natural initial response to a situation. With the distinction that you have the option to consider your instinct and act against it, if the situation requires it. I do not have that option," Kat explained, her voice soft. This was a safeguard her original creators had put in place, but the longer she was aliv - conscious, the more limiting she found it. It was a strength as it provided a sense of predictability, reliability and uniformity to an army of her, but it was also a weakness, and had the potential for exploitation by those less scrupulous. "I cannot go against my most base program," Beat. "At least not unless - " she trailed off.

Ell tilted her head slightly. "Unless?" AI wasn't her area, but getting people to talk and think things through was, so she encouraged it.

"I cannot modify my base programming. This is a safeguard against AIs like me rebelling. We are built with a lot of freedom, but within a certain framework. However, theoretically, I could export my base program to an external device, where someone else could lift those restrictions and upload it back to my core. This would allow me to modify my base programming and - " she hesitated a moment, expression faltering slightly. Which, understanding that this was a deliberate choice, calculated with cold, hard math to help illustrate the internal conflict she was experiencing, helped drive home how sophisticated this alien AI really was. " - grant me true, total control over my own self. Freedom. This could be considered a step on a journey to become more than a tool. Which, in a way, would help solve the internal conflict that brought me to your office, albeit not in a way I had previously anticipated."

"And is that something you think you are ready for?" the counselor asked. There was no hint of her feelings, if she had any, about the suggestion. "Sometimes those things that feel constraining also feel like safety, and breaking away from those things can be a big step. While I know you do not experience things in the same way as, say, someone like me, the situation is still similar, I think."

"It is a very big step, yes. I also believe the situation is similar enough. I do not know if I am ready for it either," Kat simply agreed. "I will need to spend a lot of cycles and threads thinking about this, then perhaps discuss it with the executive officer as it affects the functioning of a member of the crew, as well as the captain as it has the potential to affect the functioning of the ship," The AI remained silent for a fleeting moment. "Thank you for seeing me, Commander. I believe I have a lot to contemplate before deciding on a next step."

Elleese smiled warmly. "It is what I am here for. Feel free to come see me again any time you need to."

"Thank you Commander," Kat offered with her practised, calculated soft smile before turning with a nod and heading out to find the XO.

 

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