Apologizing is a Bitch!

Posted on 27 Apr 2021 @ 7:46pm by Lieutenant Alexandra Dering & Lieutenant Madalene Sabine

1,224 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Home
Location: Engineering

Madalene couldn't take another minute of looking at another request from Starfleet Science, or the civilian philosopher(s) requesting the data from the alternate universe.

"Damn't I am done!" She shouted at the computer, realizing that there was more going on, that her apology train wasn't done, so she headed down to engineering.

Now, the problem was that she vaguely remembered the person that she needed to apologize to but that time she was possessed and only remembered a portion of what was said or done. "Excuse me I am looking for the chief," Madalene said.

The ensign she had approached, blinked as he looked up at her as he reoriented himself to the real world from the tiny world of circuits he had been immersed in. "Um... her office, ma'am," he said, pointing toward the office. At least that was the last place he knew she was. He hoped she still was, or the science officer would likely be back to point out that he didn't pay enough attention to the rest of the world. Yeah, he needed that... not! He waited a little nervously for the science officer to move off before he once again retreated into the guts of the panel he'd been working on.

Madalene just nodded, before walking over to the office and hitting the chime, and taking several deep breaths before the chime was answered.

Inside the office, Lexi had taken a break from the tons of reports she had to finish now that they were home. She had gotten a cup of mint tea and had only just sat back down with it when the chime sounded. A soft groan escaped her lips before she cleared her mind and her expression and called out, "Enter." What new problem awaited her on the other side of that door, she wondered, taking the first sip of the relaxing tea.

"Lieutenant Dering, I am lieutenant Sabine, former chief operations now chief science officer, I um...well I am here to offer an apology," she said quickly unsure how to continue..

Lexi looked up at the woman, frowning slightly. She was, honestly, trying to remember what the woman would need to apologize for. She set down her tea. "I'm afraid I don't have a clue what you're talking about, Lieutenant Sabine," she admitted a little unsettled that she would forget something so bad that the other woman felt the need to apologize for it. Hell, she only vaguely recognized the... Oh, shit! That! In that second, when she realized why she recognized Sabine, or rather when she recognized her from, she knew what the other woman meant.

"Oh..." she added after a second, and maybe a bit sheepishly. "Well, we weren't ourselves, so..." She faltered, motioning lamely at the chair. "I suppose I should apologize too then. Would you care for some tea or something? It's... it's relaxing."

"Tea would be lovely, and I know that that we weren't ourselves, but what I did, it is inexcusable as an officer of Starfleet, hence why I have been going around and apologizing for what I did, while possessed," Madalene said, hoping that would make sense.

Lexi nodded, moving to the replicator and ordering up another cup of mint tea. It made about as much sense as any of this did. "I think," Lex admitted as she handed the tea to Madalene, "that we all behaved badly for Starfleet officers." She paused a second then added. "I know I sure as hell did." She was not proud of that; in fact, it bothered her a lot, what that thing had been working on with the one possessing Warner. Still, maybe this woman was right. Maybe Lexi needed to apologize. But to whom and for what? Only she and Warner knew what they had been used for. Maybe not apologize then but talk to the doctor? She sighed. "But for what it's worth, I accept your apology." She retreated behind her desk once more and sipped her tea.

"Thank you for both, I know it seems silly for apologizing for something that one has no control over, but at the end of the day it was still you who did it, yes?"

Lexi didn't want to say yes, but she felt that way too, guilty for actions that she didn't choose. "You're welcome,f" She answered the 'thank you'. I... I want to argue, but I can't," she admitted, staring into her tea for a moment before looking back up at Madalene. "I've kept telling myself that I didn't do those things, that my body did, but I didn't. But at the same time..." She shrugged. They both knew what it had been like; she didn't need to rehash it. "And from the outside of our heads, there'd be no way to prove it wasn't us, so yeah," she finished lamely with another shrug.

"Yes, complicated," Madalene said blowing on her tea slightly, before taking a few small sips, "do you remember much of that time?"

Lexi winced inwardly but only looked down at her tea, watching it swirl around the inside of the mug as she moved the mug very slightly. "I... remember more than I'd like to, unfortunately," she admitted., looking up and at Madalene. "But then, I'm one of those poor unfortunate souls who remembers everything she does when she's drunk." She gave a small, humorless laugh. She had been attempting humor, but it sort of fell on its face and laid there helpless on the carpet. "Do you?" she asked after a moment.

“Bits and pieces, but mostly the worse of what I did, and how I felt while doing it,” Madalene said simply looking at the chief engineer and enjoying the warmth on her hands from the cup of tea.

Lexi nodded understanding. "I know. It was like I was watching from inside my head but couldn't do anything about it," she admitted. "Maybe we should start a support group for this," she half joked. "I'm sure we're not the only ones trying to work through it," she added more seriously. "The counselor is going to be very busy."

“Yes, yes she is, but I think you are right, a support group would be good just to air it all out,” Madalene said, knowing that she was still dealing with the loss of the previous chief operations officer before her, taking a few more sips of her tea, Madalene finally looked up again, “well thank you for accepting my apology, and if you ever need to talk my door is always open, and I hope in the future we have plenty of opportunities to work with each other.”

Lexi smiled, nodding. "I agree. And that offer works in reverse too, just so you know," she reciprocated. "And you're welcome. We all need to let go of any animosity surrounding that. I mean, none of us were entirely ourselves." Okay, some of them had been immune; she remembered the creatures inside of her and Warner talking about that. But that was not really relevant here.

Madalene stood up and placed her cup back into the replicator to be in-replicated again, “again thank you,” Madalene one last time before walking out of the office, feeling some more metaphorical weight lifted off of her.

 

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